Six Months and Counting: Let’s all admit it’s bad TV getting us through

To paraphrase Bare Naked Ladies, it’s been … six months of self-quarantine.

On March 13, I was officially sent home along with other remaining co-workers to work remotely for an undetermined period of time.

One-hundred-eighty-four days later, I’m still here, and spiced up the day-to-day grind with a convenient trimalleolar fracture in July that, thus far, has required two surgeries. So, due to ever-changing guidelines that affect me working on-site at my job plus this whole no-mobility thing, I’ll be working and convalescing from home for a little bit longer. Remote schooling starts tomorrow for my daughter, too; our living-room looks like a Wayfair Call Center.

But, I’m not here to blog about the trials of 2020; we are all well acquainted at this point. Rather, I’m here to talk about 90 Day Fiance.

90DF — that’s what those of us who are too deep to get out call it — has been around for a while, but it was only this year that I finally dove in to what I previously thought was ‘too trashy’ a show for my liking. Seven seasons later, I’ve met every couple to ever K-1 their way on to the show, kept up with the countless spin-offs, downloaded at least five different podcasts dedicated to the franchise, and started making 90DF-specific crafts to share with my new, anonymous 90-Day friends on Reddit. There was also a nine-hour leak of tell-all footage floating around at one time … or so I heard.

My point here is this is not just a show to pass the time; it’s a whole lifestyle that includes home decor, should you choose to go that route. Etsy has a massive selection, ranging from wine glasses to wall art. Need a date night? 90-Day ideas — sometimes uncensored — aren’t hard to find. And cast-member David Toborowsky is often only a Tweet away, should you find the need to connect with someone (seriously, this guy is nothing if not responsive).

Looking for good listens? Here are my top five podcasts of the 90DF Variety:

1 90 Day Cray Cray

2 90 Day Gays

3 420 Fiance

4 The Fraudcast

5 90 Day Fiance Trash Talk

90DF ‘I can tote it’ mask via RedBubble

V-Day 2020: Cultural References and All the Fixins

Huzzah and Hello, weirdos! Today marks the fifth annual Weird Valentine Gift post here at WriterJax, and this year is a good one. It’s almost as though society in general has, somehow, become more accepting of the fringe.

I kid. Still, as we head toward VD 2020, I give you five contenders for holiday gift-giving. Go forth and browse to your heart’s content!

Don’t Torture Yourself, Gomez.

Send your favorite horror-file, or least-favorite-person in general, a bouquet of Dirty Rotten Flowers this year, like The Morticia arrangement below. Bonus: the testimonial page on this website is gold, Jerry. Gold.

You Had Me at Au Gratin

For the pun-tacular person in your life who’s all ears, I give you the Potato Parcel. This item was actually featured on Shark Tank and has been sending spuds around the world ever since, including those adorned with photos of the recipient.

Couple Goals

No one knows ’til death do we part like Jack and Sally. Let’s celebrate that love with gaudy-ass jewelry.

Put Some Pink in your Drink

This is too pretty not to share: pink chai tea from Lee.

The Rest is Gravy

No Valentines Day is complete without something unctuous, and when it comes to unctuous, I always vote gravy.

Cosplay with Your Food

While scavenging for the best Weird Food trends of 2019 for my annual post on the subject, I kept bumping up against news of another trend — that of mega-fast-food chains creating, marketing, and selling their own, branded Halloween costumes.

From spokesmen of vaguely military persuasion to representations of base-ingredients (dressing as the whole sandwich? That’s so last season), four of the more recognizable franchises on the block have introduced their takes on cosplay. Behold the cheesy goodness:

It’s All About the String Tie

 

People have been dressing up like the Colonel for years, but now there’s an official KFC permutation of the icon’s white-fox-look. KFC has partnered with Spirit Halloween to offer the masses an ensemble that — as the press release reads — “includes a dapper button front jacket with attached shirt, dress pants, facial hair, glasses, and a handsome wig.”

America Runs Screaming From Dunkin’

The all-mighty Dunks got in on the action this year, too, entering the fray with the totally-not-unsettling Dunkin’ Runner costume. Dunkin’ unveiled the Runner at New York Fashion Week – a stunt I didn’t know was a thing, and one that probably threw off more than a few caffeine-deprived fashion editors.

I Bet No-one Wants to be Verde

Both KFC and Dunkin’ took their costume cues from the DIY versions their fans created first, and Taco Bell is doing the same, introducing a full range that includes sauce-packet slip dresses, a Gordita Crunch Wrap tunic, and a burrito baby-bunting. It all sounds very comfortable, which is an underrated quality in a costume, in my opinion.

Two All-beef Hoodies

View this post on Instagram

I’m busy, well we’re all busy… and it’s hard to make it home in time to cook pasta and feed Frankie… so it’s a #McDelivery Night! Now, what’s more important, more than ever is self-care, and a great way to start is by taking a well-deserved night in with the convenience (and low cost) of McDelivery. And, to celebrate all of this my friends @mcdonaldscanada released some limited-edition loungewear in preparation for the big night. And I’m giving one away (check out my stories). When you order your McDelivery tonight, use promo code McDelivery2019 to receive $5 off @ubereats_canada (minimum $15 order required before taxes and delivery fees) or @SkipTheDishes (minimum $20 order required before taxes and delivery fees). Offer expires midnight tonight #TeamMcDs #Ad

A post shared by Joey Kidney (@joeykidney) on

Speaking of comfort, McDonalds hasn’t unveiled a new Hamburglar or Grimace get-up this year to my knowledge, but it has introduced a full line of “night-in”-wear as part of the promotion around its McDelivery service. The hooded sesame-seed blanket and the take-out-bag sleep-sack are the best contenders for an actual party-ready costume, but I also love the idea of doling out treats at home while lounging in an oversized melty-cheese sweatshirt and Big Mac leggings.

…Have you seen any other mouth-watering costumes coming out of fast-food nation? Let us know below!

October Food 2019: Weirdly Delicious

This year, we’re starting Blogtober strong with its most popular post: The October Food Round-up!

2019 doesn’t disappoint when it comes to the new and the ghoulishly cool of food trends. Whether it’s a DIY delicacy or a fine-dining find, it seems the foodies of the world have been positively salivating for October to arrive.

Well, here we are; a few snacks and sippers that offer eye-candy along with something new for the palate.

Spookshi, Don’tcha Know

There’s nothing new about sushi nor making food spooky, but day-glo-orange donuts these are not. It’s 2019’s Kitch-meets-kitchen Contender… Spookshi. The tutorial above is one of the simpler recipes, but I also came across a giant sushi brain, a centipede roll, and a massive jack-o-lantern platter made with salmon and nori.

Peckish for Pickle Popcorn

Pickled everything is en vogue and I’m totally on board. That said, pickled popped-corn is a new concoction, and its pickle-green complexion makes it a perfect October Food. Trader Joe’s Popcorn in a Pickle seems to hold the most real estate in this market, but there are also several home-recipes to be found.

Plus: can we make this guy go viral? I feel like he deserves it 😉 .

Orange You Glad I Brought Wine

View this post on Instagram

Today it's ok to be rude👊🏻 📸 @manolistudio . Bring this sparkling orange show stopper to your thanksgiving dinner! . Zanotto Cal Fondo "Rude" Veneto, Italy 🇮🇹 2015 . Riccardo Zanotti was born into the Prosecco region. He knew he always wanted to produce a sparkling wine that is different from all the others. The wine is made out of the grape Glera. A first fermentation occurs where the must is left with the skins for 2 days. The grape skins are then separated by decanting the wine into refrigerated tanks which stops the fermentation. the wines are then bottled for a second fermentation. (Usually only 1 fermentation for Prosecco that's why this is special) . Tasting notes: acacia, honey, salt, savory . #orangewineobsessed #orangewine #prosecco #sparklingwine #unfiltered #naturalwine #skinmaceration #vinnaturel #organicwine #thisisfall #winegeek #winetastings #wineoftheday #winelife #winenerd #italy #Veneto #winelover #whatwearedrinking #vino #winestagram #winetasting #fermentation #eeeeeats #forkyeah #thekitchn #eaterny #zevrovineselections #babewine #isabelmarant

A post shared by ORANGE WINE OBSESSION (@orange_wine_obsession) on

New trend alert, VSCO Girls: Orange wine. Pro tip — it’s not made from oranges, but rather grapes that haven’t been de-skinned. Have fun with the heartburn in the wake of the recent Zantac ban, mah babehs.

Get Your Freakshake On

Yass, I am so ok with this, my freaks! People decry the caloric content of these treats, but anyone who can’t deduce that the ballpark-figure on a chocolate shake topped with a Snickers bar, 32 M&Ms, 12 gummy worms, and a salted-caramel brownie-muffin-thing is going to be over the daily recommendation, is a dumb-ass.