V-Day 2020: Cultural References and All the Fixins

Huzzah and Hello, weirdos! Today marks the fifth annual Weird Valentine Gift post here at WriterJax, and this year is a good one. It’s almost as though society in general has, somehow, become more accepting of the fringe.

I kid. Still, as we head toward VD 2020, I give you five contenders for holiday gift-giving. Go forth and browse to your heart’s content!

Don’t Torture Yourself, Gomez.

Send your favorite horror-file, or least-favorite-person in general, a bouquet of Dirty Rotten Flowers this year, like The Morticia arrangement below. Bonus: the testimonial page on this website is gold, Jerry. Gold.

You Had Me at Au Gratin

For the pun-tacular person in your life who’s all ears, I give you the Potato Parcel. This item was actually featured on Shark Tank and has been sending spuds around the world ever since, including those adorned with photos of the recipient.

Couple Goals

No one knows ’til death do we part like Jack and Sally. Let’s celebrate that love with gaudy-ass jewelry.

Put Some Pink in your Drink

This is too pretty not to share: pink chai tea from Lee.

The Rest is Gravy

No Valentines Day is complete without something unctuous, and when it comes to unctuous, I always vote gravy.

VDay Weirdness 2018: The Round-up!

For that Ken and Barbie couple

Oh Etsy, you veritable trove of odd and unexpected. Only you could offer up this disturbing show of affection.

Spotted at: Babble

McLovin’ on a New Level

There’s something to be said for getting your loved one something they truly love for V-Day. And if your partner is super into McDonald’s hamburgers, yes, Virginia: there is a gift for that.

Fossil, for some reason, made a designer McDonald’s-themed watch — sorry, timepiece –at one time and you can still score one online for about $170.

Spotted at: Crafts n Clocks

Filled with Candy and Sadness

This one I love: the anti-Valentine Piñata. Festive, accurate, and appropriate for anger-management, if not slightly dangerous, depending on the bat.

Spotted at: Amazon

The Gift of Truth

When you still care enough to buy a gift but you just want them to stop it already.

Spotted at: Zazzle

Pillow Talk

Grab these, and whose is whose is up to you. You can go all-out with an entire bed set though, too, if you so choose.

Spotted at: DefineDesign

Cover Image: Eggplant Earrings for the emoji-lover in your world.

Spotted at: sucresucre

I Only Have Meat + Melting Cats 4 U

It’s that time again… time to scour the interwebs for all things bizarre to give to loved ones on February 14 in the spirit of VD!

Here are my five favorite finds for the weirdo in your life. Suitable for Valentines Day, anniversaries, or divorce.

Kurt's chocolate salami

Salami or Leave Me

This one actually doesn’t seem weird to me at all – in fact, it seems innovative, artisanal, and delicious. Made and delivered by Olympia Provisions, it’s the Salami Bouquet. From their website, because I couldn’t write this description any better, it’s  “{f}or those who prefer an armful of pork to a fragile and fleeting flower arrangement.”

But wait, there’s more – Olympia Provisions also creates chocolate salami, which is not chocolate-covered meat but rather salami-shaped ganache. I’m really open to either but the latter sounds slightly more appetizing. Seen at: The Oregonian

Gummie penis bag of dicks candy!

Dear Richard…

Thanks to my pal Eden for this perfect offering from the passive-aggressive secret admirer. An anonymous Bag o’ Dicks. Seen at: dicksbymail.com



Love. Death. Zombies. Obsession.

Zombie Cologne seems fun in an un-dead kinda way. And it’s brought to us by Demeter, the same company that creates Play-Doh perfume. Seen at: Overstock.com


This Cat is on Fire

This: because we have a cat who sets stuff on fire and also because it’s a candle that eventually becomes something else besides a pile of malleable wax.Seen at: Pyropetcandles.com


The Dedicated Valentines of the NYPD

Why aren’t these already in my mailbox? WHY?

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The V-Day Quirky Gift Round-up 2016

It’s almost Valentine’s Day, and I was compelled to put another alternative gift list together for those of us looking for something that hasn’t yet been beaten to death by Hallmark. So, here are a few gift choices for the quirkier of recipients, from the organ lover to the fungusphile.

Heart of Gold Metallic Plush ($39). Come correct with this plush heart, complete with razzle-dazzle ventricles. Via the adorably named website IHeartGuts.com.

Tattoo Notebook ($13). This reminds me of adult coloring books with a twist. Sketch out planned or fantasized ink in this body part-filled notebook. Found at suckUK.

Star Wars as told in the style of Shakespeare. Whether ’tis nobler to turn to the Dark Side…Found at Firebox ($18).

Tabasco Chocolate ($8) I love this one because it’s an inexpensive foodie gift with a collectible tin – always feels more substantial to give than a cardboard box of candy. There are even suggested recipes to try with this kind of hot chocolate, such as chili chocolate beef. Found at Firebox.

Grow pink oyster mushrooms in your own kitchen and whip up a plate of pink pasta, risotto, mushroom tempura, or a rosy omelet. $27 from the Espresso Mushroom Company.

cat cave etsy

Whether you call it a cat cave, hole, bed, house, or vessel — and the Etsy seller who makes these is ok with all of those —   this handmade wool kitty nook is also a nice little home decor item. $53; found at nerdwallet.