VDay Weirdness 2018: The Round-up!

For that Ken and Barbie couple

Oh Etsy, you veritable trove of odd and unexpected. Only you could offer up this disturbing show of affection.

Spotted at: Babble

McLovin’ on a New Level

There’s something to be said for getting your loved one something they truly love for V-Day. And if your partner is super into McDonald’s hamburgers, yes, Virginia: there is a gift for that.

Fossil, for some reason, made a designer McDonald’s-themed watch — sorry, timepiece –at one time and you can still score one online for about $170.

Spotted at: Crafts n Clocks

Filled with Candy and Sadness

This one I love: the anti-Valentine Piñata. Festive, accurate, and appropriate for anger-management, if not slightly dangerous, depending on the bat.

Spotted at: Amazon

The Gift of Truth

When you still care enough to buy a gift but you just want them to stop it already.

Spotted at: Zazzle

Pillow Talk

Grab these, and whose is whose is up to you. You can go all-out with an entire bed set though, too, if you so choose.

Spotted at: DefineDesign

Cover Image: Eggplant Earrings for the emoji-lover in your world.

Spotted at: sucresucre

I Only Have Meat + Melting Cats 4 U

It’s that time again… time to scour the interwebs for all things bizarre to give to loved ones on February 14 in the spirit of VD!

Here are my five favorite finds for the weirdo in your life. Suitable for Valentines Day, anniversaries, or divorce.

Kurt's chocolate salami

Salami or Leave Me

This one actually doesn’t seem weird to me at all – in fact, it seems innovative, artisanal, and delicious. Made and delivered by Olympia Provisions, it’s the Salami Bouquet. From their website, because I couldn’t write this description any better, it’s  “{f}or those who prefer an armful of pork to a fragile and fleeting flower arrangement.”

But wait, there’s more – Olympia Provisions also creates chocolate salami, which is not chocolate-covered meat but rather salami-shaped ganache. I’m really open to either but the latter sounds slightly more appetizing. Seen at: The Oregonian

Gummie penis bag of dicks candy!

Dear Richard…

Thanks to my pal Eden for this perfect offering from the passive-aggressive secret admirer. An anonymous Bag o’ Dicks. Seen at: dicksbymail.com



Love. Death. Zombies. Obsession.

Zombie Cologne seems fun in an un-dead kinda way. And it’s brought to us by Demeter, the same company that creates Play-Doh perfume. Seen at: Overstock.com


This Cat is on Fire

This: because we have a cat who sets stuff on fire and also because it’s a candle that eventually becomes something else besides a pile of malleable wax.Seen at: Pyropetcandles.com


The Dedicated Valentines of the NYPD

Why aren’t these already in my mailbox? WHY?

Save

Save